Inevitable Series 04 The Unrelenting Read online
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Did I really make him feel like that? Does he still?
But he knew the answer to that question. Could see it in Blair's doubt-filled eyes. "Chief, I was trying to prepare myself for when you decided it was time to move on."
Blair's brow creased in confusion. "When did I ever say I was going to move on?"
"You didn't. I just...earlier this year, you said you had more than enough information for your dissertation. That stuck in my head and I kept thinking that one day you'd announce that you'd finished it and then...you'd leave."
"I told you back then-"
"I know, Chief, but I had already held you back from so much."
"I never felt that way."
"Maybe not. But it's the truth." He held up his hand, ticking off each of his points. "You turned down that trip to Borneo. You've cut way back on your school hours. And you've put off getting your Ph.D."
"Those were all my choices and I made every one of them without regret. I was and still am exactly where I want to be, doing what I want to be doing. And, Jim," he hesitated, letting out a long breath before continuing, "I only started working on my dissertation again because of what you said in Clayton Falls. Before then, I didn't care if I missed a deadline. I didn't care when or if I ever got my Ph.D. I was content just being your partner. But when you said that about me, I realized that you and I weren't seeing things in the same light. I was just 'the observer', a temporary position that could end at any moment." He shrugged one shoulder. "I wanted to be ready for when that happened."
Jim stared at Blair unable to believe what he had just told him. He'd worried for so long about that damned dissertation. About Blair finally getting his Ph.D. And now to find out that it was his own stupid, off the cuff remark that had pushed him into working on it again.
"We are a pair, Chief." Jim muttered..
"If it'll make you feel better," Blair said, "I've since figured out that sometimes you just say stupid things that don't really mean anything."
Jim looked up, relieved to see the sparkle of humor in his partner's eyes. "You figured that out, huh?"
"Yeah and without the Ph.D." Blair leaned forward, his hands locked before him. "Jim, you and I were never great in the communication department. Since the whole thing with Alex...you've opened up to me more in the last two months than you have in the last three years." He stared at him with earnest eyes. "If it took me nearly dying to get to this point, then I'd do it again."
The image of Blair floating in the Rainier fountain flashed through Jim's mind, sending a shudder through him. "I can't agree with you there, Chief."
########
Blair sat in his office trying to concentrate on the tests before him. He had been trying to grade them for the last hour but with little luck. He just couldn't stop thinking about that morning at the loft. As much as he hated to see the pain in Jim's eyes when he'd told him his thoughts while in the fountain, a part of him had needed to hear Jim tell him he had been wrong. That he would not have been happy if Blair had died that day.
"Get over your insecurities, Sandburg," he muttered, trying once again to get through the papers on his desk. As glad as he was for the talk they'd had, he realized that he hadn't told Jim the part of his dreams that was actually plaguing him.
He closed his eyes, trying once more to distinguish exactly what it was he felt just before waking. But like every other time, the feelings slipped through his fingers like the water that had nearly killed him.
The phone on his desk rang, drawing his attention. He glanced at it, knowing it was probably Jim checking up on him. He snatched it up halfway through the next ring. "Blair Sandburg."
"Have you missed me, Blair?" Rebecca Lowry's voice whispered in his ear.
Blair stiffened. His hand tightened on the phone receiver. "How the hell did you get this number?" He knew she had to be calling from jail. She'd been denied bail. If that had changed, Jim would have told him. Jim would have assigned around the clock protection.
"I want to see you," Rebecca said in a low, conspiratorial tone. "The trial is coming up and I think we need to talk."
He tossed his pen down on his desk. "I don't think so."
"Blair, I've had a lot of time in here to think...and to read. Read some things you wrote. Things about a sentinel and suddenly, I know how that partner of yours was able to get to that fire I set in that warehouse so quickly."
Blair's stomach clenched. Sweat broke out on his body. "What do you want?"
"I told you, I want to see you. Today. In one hour. Alone." The line went dead.
#########
Blair sat in the visitor's section of the women's prison. Rebecca had given him an hour. He'd gotten here in forty-five minutes. As he sat, he glanced at the other inmates. Some talking with small children, some with family members, friends. All smiling, laughing. None of them looked like criminals to Blair. But then, neither had Rebecca that first time he'd seen her in the library. He'd been attracted to her then. Thought she seemed so quiet and feminine.
Rebecca stepped through the door on the other side of the room. He tensed as her gaze came to rest on him. She looked much as she had that first day he saw her with her brown hair tucked behind one ear. Her soft eyes full of innocence. But he knew what lay behind that calm exterior. Without thought, his hand moved to his neck. To the place that had shown bruising for nearly a week after she had choked him.
She slid into the seat across from him, her eyes never leaving his. "So prompt," she cooed. "I like that. Says a lot about a man."
He kept his gaze neutral. He hadn't seen her since the night she had tried to kill him. Had hoped he wouldn't see her again until the trial and only then as she was being led off to spend the next twenty years behind bars. "What do you want?"
Her eyes traveled slowly over him. "You look good, Blair. Do you have your glasses with you? I do so like those glasses." She smiled at him, that same predatory smile he'd seen the night in the clearing.
"What do you want?" he repeated.
"Gee, no small talk at all. I thought maybe we could catch up with each other. Oh but then, what would I tell you?" She leaned toward him. "You see, I've been in here since our last night together." Anger hung on each word. "Seems you have some friends in high places. Managed to make it impossible for me to get bail. That was a mistake, Blair." Her gaze darted sideways, as if gauging how close the guard was. "You should have let me get out of here because I would have just disappeared and you wouldn't have had to deal with any of it. But you didn't and it really upset me and you know firsthand how angry I can get when I'm upset."
Images of Rebecca, towering over his with a crowbar, flashed through his mind. "You still haven't answered my question," he said calmly.
"You're right. Let's just get to it then." She leaned back confidently. "Like I said on the phone, I know all about sentinels. All about your partner." Her cold eyes gleamed with delight. A slow, easy smile pulled at her mouth. "And that scares the hell out of you, doesn't it?"
Blair clenched his jaw. Said nothing.
"Here's the deal, Blair. You drop the charges against me or I go public with what I know."
Blair had known when she mentioned her new found knowledge about Jim that she would try and use it to some advantage. But this...? "I have no control over the upcoming trial. It's not me bringing the charges. It's the State of Washington."
She nodded, as if expecting this answer. "I realize that. But you are the star witness after all. Without you, there is no case against me. So you don't testify and I go free."
"You really think anyone would believe you?" he said, trying to keep the desperation he felt from creeping into his voice.
She shrugged one shoulder. "Maybe. Maybe not. But I can guarantee you that there will be someone, some reporter, who will wonder enough about it to begin digging into Jim Ellison's life. I have to believe that after that, it would be fairly easy to document a few too many things not to be convincing."
Blair knew she was right.
It wouldn't take a whole lot of investigation into Jim's arrest record to see that something unusual was going on. Team that up with Blair's partnership and the papers he'd written on the subject matter and it would all make too much sense not to be true. Dammit!
Rebecca leaned in toward him, her hand snaking toward his. "I want out of here, Blair. I want out of here and you had better find a way of doing that or your partner's secret little life is over." Her hand brushed against his. "Who knows? Maybe I'll even look you up once I'm out."
He stood abruptly and backed out of the room.
##########
"I can't believe you went to see her without telling me." Jim rubbed his forehead, a headache just beginning to throb against his temple. He stood in Simon's office, towering over his partner who was seated before the captain's desk, his eyes locked on the carpet beneath his sneakers.
"She's in jail, Jim," Blair said, his voice endlessly patient. "She wasn't going to do anything to me."
"That's not the point, Chief, and you know it." Jim hated the idea that he had been here, working on some stupid report while his partner sat across a small table from the woman who had almost killed him less than a month ago. That Blair had not bothered to call him. No, had chosen not to call him. And Jim knew why.
He was trying to protect me.
That's what bothered Jim the most. One phone call, one vague threat to Jim, and the woman had been able to get Blair to do exactly what she wanted. And that frightened Jim because when would it happen again?
"I didn't tell you," Blair said, his gaze still not meeting Jim's, "because she wanted me to come alone and I knew you would insist on going with me."
"Blair," he said in exasperation, "she didn't have to know I was there. I could have stayed out of sight. Bottom line is you should have called me."
Blair looked to Simon. "Help me out here, Captain."
"Jim, Sandburg is right. He's fine. She couldn't have done anything to him in jail so let's move on."
"Fine." Jim would let it drop for now. But he needed to make his partner understand that he could not keep things from him to protect him. "Tell me what she said and I mean everything, Chief."
"She said she knows you're a sentinel and if I testify, she'll tell everyone about you." He shoved out of the chair and began pacing the office. "I wish I'd never written that first paper. It had to be the same one Brackett read. I just don't understand how she could even get a copy of it."
But Jim knew. Being in prison did not mean you were cut-off from the outside world. Not if you had access to money. More than likely, Rebecca had paid a guard to look into Blair's life. No doubt part of the "package" she'd received on him had contained all his published works...including his paper on sentinels.
Jim watched as Blair continued to pace, knowing his partner was unfairly blaming himself for their current predicament. "Blair, you wrote that paper before you and I ever met. None of this is your fault."
"I'm not going to testify," he said, his pace increasing slightly.
"You have to, Chief. They have no case without you."
"Then they have no case." He stopped and turned sharply toward Jim. "I'm not going to let her tell the world about you just to keep her in jail."
"She killed three people and wanted to make you number four."
"It doesn't matter."
"Sandburg," Simon began, his voice low with authority, "You don't testify and they could bring you up on charges of obstructing justice."
"I don't have a choice here, Captain."
"You think she'll get out and just go quietly away?" Jim asked.
Blair's heart rate increased. His gaze fell once more to the floor.
Jim took a step closer. "What did she say to you? Did she threaten you?"
"Not exactly," he muttered.
"Blair, dammit! What did she say?"
He sighed heavily. "She said she might look me up when she got out. That's all. It's no big deal."
Jim stared at him. No big deal. The woman abducts him, nearly kills him and he says no big deal. "I'm not letting you do this," Jim said. "I'll hold my own damn press conference if that's what it'll take to keep Rebecca Lowry in jail."
"Jim--"
"She's not coming after you again, Blair. I won't let that happen."
"I can handle myself. I don't need you doing some big sacrifice thing for me."
"And you're not doing that for me?"
"Enough," Simon snapped and both men turned to face him. "Sit." Neither man moved. "Sit! Now!" Simon barked. Jim and Blair moved to the chairs before Simon's desk and sat down. Jim did not look at his partner. He knew if he did, he would just start yelling again.
"First off," Simon began, his hard stare shifting from one man to the other, "Sandburg, you are going to testify." The grad student opened his mouth but Simon's glare stopped him. "I'll talk to the D.A. and get the trial pushed back if I have to but I'm not letting you go to jail for obstruction of justice."
"Yeah," Jim said in his best I-told-you-so tone of voice.
"And you, Ellison." Simon shifted his attention, pointing a finger at the sentinel. "You're not holding any press conferences. I'm not letting my best detective become a science project for the entire planet."
"Yeah," Blair said, mimicking Jim.
Simon's phone rang. "You two just sit there and be quiet," Simon ordered as he snatched the receiver from its cradle. "Banks," he snapped into the mouth-piece.
Jim glanced at Blair out of the corner of his eye. His partner stared down at his hands which were clamped tightly together in his lap. "Blair," he said, keeping his voice low, not wanting to chance another eruption from Simon. "I know you're just trying to protect me and I appreciate it."
Blair looked up, guilt still clouding his eyes. "I just wish this would all go away."
Simon hung up the phone. "Well, Sandburg, seems your wish just came true." He looked up, his troubled gaze settling on Blair. "Rebecca Lowry got into an argument with another inmate at the prison and was stabbed to death."
########
The cold water bit into his flesh like a thousand knives being driven under his skin. His mind screamed for him to move. But he couldn't. The water held him down. Filled his lungs.
Help me! Someone, please, help me!
The words screamed through his mind. But he could not force them past his lips. Could not make his body move. Could not save himself.
Jim!
But he knew Jim wasn't coming. Didn't care what happened to him. Might even be relieved to be rid of him for good.
A profound sadness filled him, more painful than any physical injury he had ever sustained.
No one's coming. No one cares.
He had lost everything and everyone that meant anything to him. And now he would die. Alone.
A shadow fell across him. Blocked out the sun's rays. His last source of warmth.
Help me!
Muffled voices reached his ears. Then laughter. Fear tightened his already aching chest. Whoever stood over him would offer no help. Instead gained pleasure from his pain. He sensed it and was terrified by it even as the darkness came to engulf him...forever.
Blair gasped, coming awake all at once. His gaze swept the room, panic racing his heart. Where am I? Where....? But then he knew. My room. He fell back against his pillow, sweat dampening his brow "Dammit," he muttered. Another nightmare.
"You're okay, Chief."
He turned toward the sound of Jim's voice. He stood in his bedroom doorway, a dark silhouette against the darker room behind him.
Blair pulled himself up and pressed his back against the headboard behind him, drawing his knees in tightly against his chest. He would not get back to sleep anytime soon. "I'm sorry, man."
"No need to be." Crossing the room, Jim sat on the end of Blair's bed. "Was it the same as before?"
"Pretty much. But, Jim, there's something about the dreams I didn't tell you." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Every time, just before I w
ake, I sense another presence with me. It's as if someone is there, watching me drown. Not helping me, just watching."
"Do you think it could be Alex?" Jim asked tentatively. "Maybe she stayed to make sureā¦" His voice trailed off but Blair knew how that sentence should end. To make sure he was really dead. That he wouldn't get out of that fountain on his own.
He shook his head, pushing the dark thoughts away. "I don't know how I know but it was not Alex."
"Blair, are we still talking about your nightmare here because it sounds more like a memory to me."
"I'm not sure anymore." Blair closed his eyes and dropped his chin against his knees. In his mind, he tried to see that moment again but it was all too vague, just sounds and shadows. "I think it's a memory, Jim," he said, opening his eyes again. "I think someone was there with me and I need to remember who because it feels important, like the dreams are a warning or a message."
Blair hesitated, knowing the reaction his next statement would get but seeing no way around it. "I need to see Frank Croft and before you say anything just hear me out." He waited, trying to gauge Jim's reaction, wishing he could see his partner's expression but at the same time glad for the privacy the darkness provided.
"Go ahead, Chief," Jim said calmly.
"Jim, Frank Croft told me more about the whole Shaman thing in one night than I've learned in the last month. He teaches classes on the stuff. I just think he could help me understand more about myself and maybe that will help me understand these dreams."
"So you think these dreams are part of your Shaman abilities?"
"I don't know. But Croft told me I should trust my inner voice and my inner voice is telling me I need to remember what that presence at the fountain was. That it's important. I just can't shake that feeling." He shivered as a sudden chill raced through him. "I'm going to call him first thing in the morning. With any luck, he'll be able to see me tomorrow."
"Us, Chief. I'm going with you."
######
Blair crossed the cemetery, the grass still wet with the early morning dew. He pulled his coat more closely around him, acutely aware of Jim's gaze on his back as he walked. He'd tried to call Frank Croft that morning but was told by the woman who answered the phone that he was at the cemetery visiting his brother's grave. Blair had hung up the phone with only one thought - I need to go there. Some part of him needed to come here. Needed the closure that seeing Jarred Lowry's grave would give him.